


Of Little Things

by MCalhen



Category: Tales of Xillia
Genre: F/M, Family, Family Fluff, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-09-27
Updated: 2015-12-16
Packaged: 2018-02-18 23:21:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 13,133
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2365769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MCalhen/pseuds/MCalhen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The apartment looks more like a library than a home, Jude's hugs are warm, and friends visit without invitation just when Alvin thinks it's fine to run around underdressed. Sometimes there are arguments, but there is also comfort, and Alvin entertains the idea that they might be able to expand their family.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> There seems to be a "little" theme going on in this fic--or how something/someone strictly isn't little. This is building up to an unusual family unit, starting with pets (one cat, one dog), and expanding from there. Slowly. Despite that I've spent two or so weeks mulling over this fic, I've only planned out and written some of this. I might have to upgrade the warning if I write smutty scenes. I'm a bit hesitant about this story because I'm worried there's something I missed from the games or fan translations of the world guidance books on what happened before, between, and after both games. I like the idea that a family doesn't always have to consist of two parents and their children. If you spot any mistakes, including anything that contradicts canon, please let me know! I'd rather know now rather than later.

Alvin heard a dull thump to his side and glanced up, cutting off his conversation in mid-sentence. On the other side of the GHS, he heard Elize in one ear. “Alvin?”

“Hold on, Elize. I think Jude fell asleep again.” Alvin stood to get a better look into the adjoining room.

“He didn’t fall off his chair and hit his head again, did he?” asked Elize. 

“Nah,” said Alvin. “He dropped a book. The desk and the chair are holding him up.” Alvin could see the source of the noise that had interrupted their conversation lying on the ground by Jude’s foot. “He sleeps heavy, I’ll give him that.”

“Don’t let him fall this time,” said Elize, and Alvin could picture in his mind the little fists she made in front of her from time to time.

“I’ll take care of it, sheesh.”

“You’d better!”

Alvin laughed. “I know, I know. I’ll protect our precious researcher, don’t you worry. You can tell me more about school later.”

“I will, but only if you take care of Jude!”

Alvin closed his GHS and set it on top of one of the towering stacks of books in the doorway between the living room and Jude’s study nook. The apartment wasn’t small, but Alvin had to take care not to knock over any of the stacks while he bent down to pick up the text Jude had been reading. He set it on the desk and turned to Jude.

Jude’s hair had grown out a bit more than he usually allowed it. Some of it obscured his face. Alvin tucked one arm beneath Jude’s knees, hooking the other around his back so his fingers followed the curve of Jude’s ribs. As he hoisted Jude out of the chair, he groaned. The nineteen-year-old in his arms was all muscle, no matter how slight he might have appeared.

Alvin only made it two steps before Jude’s eyes blinked open.

“Alvin?”

“You fell asleep. I promised the little lady I’d keep you from hitting your head again.”

“She’s not so little anymore, Alvin. She’s getting tall. I’m taller, too, you know. I can take care of myself.” The muscles in Jude’s legs pushed against Alvin’s arm as if he intended to stand up, but it was a half-hearted attempt that lasted for only a second. 

“Yeah, you’re proving that real well,” said Alvin, grunting as he used his foot to tap their bedroom door further out of the way. “You work too damn hard, Jude.”

Jude rested his head against Alvin’s chest. “I know, but I get caught up in a book, and I can’t put it down.”

“So I’ve noticed.” As Alvin set Jude on the edge of the mattress, he took a look around their bedroom. When they first moved in, it had been spacious. Alvin could walk to the bathroom door in the middle of the night without stubbing his toe. But months later, accompanied by a few dozen bruises, Alvin had learned that Jude was not a particularly tidy person. One couldn’t refer to him as a slob, either. Jude owned a lot of books, and he was too distracted to ever make the bed or return a blanket to the back of a sofa. And between the both of them, it was Jude who most often tripped over a stray text or caught his foot on one of his jackets. Jude lost things and ran late as a habit.

Alvin had grown to love these things about Jude, but he was more upset than his lover when Jude rolled off the sofa and smacked his head on the coffee table, which disturbed the books piled on it and sent them toppling on Jude’s head. The scene differed little from the times Jude lost his footing or fell asleep in strange locations. There were times Jude’s quick reflexes saved him, too, but Alvin still held his breath before he knew whether or not Jude had been injured.

“This place is a mess.” Alvin picked up a pile of books from the end of Jude’s side of the bed. He waved the topmost one around in his other hand. “Maybe there ought to be rules about reading in bed?”

“Why?”

“So you’ll sleep.” _And not get hurt._

Alvin crossed the room and began to reorganize everything on the bookshelves to make room for what was in his arms. Most of the books discussed Elympios’s history—everything from health care to spyrix to politics. Some of the skill tomes were borrowed from Rowen or Gaius. Alvin set them on a chair by the window. 

“You’re always cleaning up after my messes. Thanks.”

Alvin paused, gaze lowered. “When Isla wasn’t taking care of my mom, I did. I’d clean the stoves and put wood in ‘em. It gets pretty cold in Xian Du, especially at night, so I had to do that often. Then I’d sweep the ashes and beat the carpets. I kept everything nice. We were accustomed to a much nicer life on Elympios. I guess I just wanted her to have that as much as possible.”

“You’re a good person, Alvin.”

“Heh.” Alvin never had an answer anymore for when Jude threw out a comment like that one. Self-depreciation only ever earned him a scolding, and he had trouble believing he had reformed enough to deserve such compliments.

Alvin managed to get the first shelf tidied, but he had more books in his arms than he had started with—all different ones. He didn’t put them in alphabetical order. Within a day, Jude would have them mixed up again. Maybe, maybe if Alvin squeezed as many as he could onto each shelf, doubling the rows with one in front of the other and stacking more on top of those, he could see a fraction of the carpet in their bedroom.

“You’ll be at that for hours,” warned Jude.

“Good, maybe it’ll give me something to do while you sleep.” Alvin turned to wink at him.

“Are you that lost without me when I’m busy?” teased Jude.

“Maybe,” said Alvin, shrugging. 

“I’m not tired anymore.”

“You should sleep while you can.”

Jude groaned. “You can’t make me lay in bed while you’re doing that. And what about all the books in the study?”

“I’ll leave ‘em for another day. You’re crazy if you think I can manage even half of these alone.” Alvin gestured at the rest of the room before tilting his head at Jude. “You could always help me.”

Jude was at his side within a few seconds. He had his own contributions in the organization process. “Let’s put these here, so I remember where they are…” and “No, keep this one with that one, I know this would fit better on that shelf but I don’t want to lose track of it.” Alvin spent more time handing books over than putting any away.

By the end of the afternoon, Alvin had put the coats in the closet, too. The carpet was visible.

To get a good view of their efforts, Alvin stood in the corner, arms crossed over his chest. “Hey, looks like we did a pretty good job. Don’t you think, Jude?”

Jude scratched the back of his head. “I guess.”

“Maybe your parents could come for a visit, if we keep this up.”

“Hehe…” Jude grimaced. “You forgot about the rest of the house, Alvin. It still looks like a disaster. I promise I try to put some things back every night before I go to bed, and I clean the entire house twice a week, but in an hour, it looks the same.”

“Was it like this when you were a kid? I can’t imagine Derrick liking that very much.”

“No,” admitted Jude. “I owned a lot less back then, and Mom helped me out. She made sure we went through my clothes regularly and got rid of the ones that didn’t fit anymore. Most of the books I had, I memorized the material and Mom resold them. I guess there are a lot of ways I’m still not an adult, if I still wish she could help me out now…”

“Hey, people don’t grow out of their moms,” said Alvin. He said it amiably, intending to be good natured about it, but when it was out of his mouth, the memory of his mother stung. How often had he thought about how nice it would have been to return to his early childhood? Those had been days of innocence. His mother had been happy, even if she had not been healthy. In his old age, he would always wonder what it might be like to have her around still. It was, he felt, his fault that she wasn’t. He had cornered Isla with blackmail because he had no other choice if he wanted his mother to be provided for and continue taking her needed medication, and Isla had responded by poisoning her. Deep down, there would always be a part of him that felt responsible, as if he had put the poison in Leticia’s food himself.

“Alvin, I…”

“Don’t.” Alvin put a hand to his temple and rubbed, shaking his head back and forth. “I don’t need pity.”

“I know, and I wasn’t going to say anything about it.” Jude’s cheeks turned red, but he stared steadily at Alvin. “I was going to ask if you ever wanted to be a parent. Since we’re on the subject of parents.”

Alvin laughed in surprise. “What’s this all of a sudden? Feeling motherly, Jude?”

“I think you’re guilty of that more than I am.” Jude tapped his chin. “I bet you’re the overprotective type who pretends to be more relaxed than he actually is. You’ll say a kid learning to walk doesn’t need chased around and won’t get hurt from a little fall, but before you let them try, you’ll make sure the area’s safe.”

Alvin grinned. “You think you have me figured out, huh?” He threw an arm around Jude and pulled him in closer. Jude smelled like old books, pen ink, and warm laundry. “What about you, Jude? Don’t tell me you’re planning kids for our future?”

“I haven’t planned anything,” said Jude. “And you can’t fool me. I know you like the idea. That’s why you’re always calling Elle and Elize or telling them to call you. It’s admirable you aren’t on your GHS with them every single day.”

 _I’d like kids more than you realize_ , thought Alvin. At his age, he felt time was running out. Jude was still young, though, and it would do him no favors to rush into parenthood. They both kept busy work schedules, too. 

Then there was Alvin’s mistrust in himself to continue a committed relationship when he had seldom ever been reliable in the past. Alvin was uncertain he could ever be parent material. Caring for Elize and Elle like an older brother or even an uncle figured worked out well. (Well, okay, maybe he saw them more as daughters.)

“I like things as they are for now,” said Alvin. “We have time to worry about it later.”

“But isn’t adoption difficult, no matter which country you adopt from? I hear it’s a difficult process…”

“Oh-ho! So you don’t want to bed a willing woman and ask her to carry your child for you?”

Jude narrowed his eyes. “Alvin, you’ll be in a bed alone if you make jokes like that.” He sighed. “It’s not like I could ask Milla, anyway. She’s a great spirit, and she’s in the spirit realm.”

Alvin ran his fingers through his hair, staring up at the ceiling for a few minutes. “We don’t need to worry about it right now. You’ve got time to wait.”

“And you?”

When Alvin glanced over, Jude was hugging his front, one hand rubbing the other arm. “I’ll be fine, I promise. Even if it’s never, I’ll be okay.”

“Alvin…” Jude gave him a weary smile. “You do realize you’re lying to me, right? But thank you. I know you’re saying that for my sake.”

“Hey, if there’s one thing I’m good at it, it’s…” Alvin almost finished with “pretending I don’t have any needs or wants”, but he stopped. 

Jude misunderstood. “That’s not true, Alvin. You only ever lie these days if you think it’ll help somebody. Anyway, I ought to collect my papers so I don’t forget them when I head to Trigleph tomorrow.” He brushed Alvin’s cheek with a kiss. 

After he left the room, Alvin stared down at the carpet. “I lie all the time,” he muttered. “Even if it’s always to myself.” Because if he were completely honest, he would tell Jude how badly he wanted to be a normal dad who provided a childhood much like his had started out as, before it had been cut short.


	2. Chapter 2

Alvin took great efforts to avoid noticeably sulking as Jude tossed clothing items into a suitcase. He leaned back in the chair in their bedroom and kept a silent note of what Jude packed and what Jude might be forgetting.

They were going to be separated for two weeks. That was a dreadful but common reality, but Alvin didn’t need to add onto the issue by whining about it. He would be leaving two days after Jude. Alvin and Yurgen were going to Hamil to update contracts with the farmers and ranchers who provided the produce they sold. Jude would be giving lectures on spyrite technology throughout Elympios, where people were reluctant to let go of spyrix. At the end of the week, he would return to an empty apartment. 

Their jobs meant a lot of travel. This was nothing new to either of them. 

Alvin sometimes went with Jude if their work could be overlapped in the same location. They tried to be home and away from the apartment around the same time to reduce their separation. 

They talked about vacationing more often. Not family visits, like the time they had gone to Leronde for a week. Jude pitched in at the clinic, and Alvin had helped at the lodge because it earned him free meals from Warrick. He enjoyed sending Leia selfies he had taken with her mom and dad, too. Sonia requested him to send her daughter reminders and threats, and it reached a point where Alvin started making up his own for a good laugh. There wasn’t much to do in Leronde with no one to talk to. 

Jude needed the visit with his parents, though. Alvin had pushed Jude to reach out to his father. “I know there’s a lot of tension between you and Derrick, but he cares about you.” No family was perfect, but at least Jude didn’t have relatives like Gilland. 

Alvin and Jude had their chance to be alone each evening, when they walked down to the Leronde Seahaven to watch the sun set on the ocean. They sat on the stone ledges, dipping their bare feet into the water. Occasionally, Alvin would splash at Jude. The sun’s colors shimmered on the ocean’s surface until it disappeared. The lumen grass lamps would be turned on. He had never paused to appreciate the beauty of Rieze Maxia until then. A few years ago, it reminded him bitterly of what his home didn’t have. 

Thanks to Jude, Elympios sprouted new plant life. Restoration had become a reality, but they were not quite there. 

There were many people in the older generations who held disdain for Jude’s spyrite work. In order to convince them conversion would be in their favor, Jude held seminars. To create a better world, Alvin had to get over his dislike of being apart from Jude. 

Jude stuffed the last of his shirts in haphazardly in his suitcase. As he sat on it to latch it, he smiled at Alvin. For a moment, Alvin saw the kid he had once been and not the young man he had turned into. But his broader shoulders and thicker neck and the thin shadow of course hair on his jaw brought Alvin back to the present.

“Did you pack your razor?” asked Alvin, stroking his own smooth chin. Jude had once liked the beard when it had been there—had been one of the few who ever complimented it—but Alvin had shaved it away when Jude admitted he preferred to kiss a clean-shaven face.

“Yes.”

“Toothpaste?”

“Alvin, I know how to pack. You’re just trying to delay me.” Jude raised a stern eyebrow at him.

Alvin shrugged and smirked. “You saw right through my plans, as usual. Aren’t you always late, anyway?”

Jude tossed a pillow at his head. Alvin ducked in time, letting it hit the bookshelf behind him. It disturbed a few books and sent them to the floor. 

“Don’t get into trouble while I’m gone, Alvin.”

“And don’t get into trouble when you get back. Else we’ll have to have a little talk when I get home.” Alvin delighted in Jude’s blush, but he reveled even more in how the words had sent a shudder through his lover’s spine. 

“You sure you don’t want a little alone time with me before you leave? I won’t tell anyone why you’re late if you don’t.”

“Alvin.”

“Juuude.”

Jude’s lips twitched in one corner before he grinned. “Stop it.”

“Come stop me.” Alvin unfolded his arms in preparation for taking Jude into them. The soft laugh he released when Jude sighed and approached him felt like it had come from someone else—from a person far away, a person who deserved this bliss. Even when Jude lowered into his lap, legs tossed over the side of the chair and fingers teasing the hair at the nape of his neck, Alvin could only be at a loss for what had made him worthy of these perfect moments. 

And then he thought about the times he had hurt Jude when they first met. He buried his head into Jude’s shoulder and slipped his arms around his waist.

“I love you,” said Jude. 

Those three little words were more honest coming from Jude than the times Alvin had ever spoken them to someone else. As a result, he could never easily return them to Jude. Not without effort. He had made a promise to show rather than tell, and that worked in both their favors.

“Alvin, it won’t be long. We’ll talk on the GHS every night.” He ran the back of his fingers across Alvin’s cheek. 

Alvin took the hand in his, using his thumb to hold the fingers away from the palm, and kissed Jude. 

“I guess I’m going to be late,” said Jude, chuckling. 

“I guess you are.”

~*~

The GHS on the counter went off, the familiar ring tone competing with the sound of sizzling bacon. Alvin flipped it open and held it to his ear with his shoulder while he flipped it in the pan to cook the other side. 

“Hello?”

“Alvin, answer your door!” The voice belonged to a young, unhappy girl.

Alvin scowled. “I didn’t hear the door, Elle. I’m fixing bacon.” He didn’t add that he was in only his boxer briefs and would need to get dressed.

“Really? I hope there’s enough for me!” 

“Let me keep it from burning, and I’ll answer the door.”

“Good.”

When Alvin hung up, he scooped out his breakfast and set it on paper towels. As he let the grease drain, he hurried across the apartment to pull on some proper pajama pants and a shirt. 

When he made it to the foyer, he heard urgent rapping.

“Sheesh, I’m coming,” he called out. “Have a little patience.” He unlocked it and swung open the door, eyes narrowed. He loved this kid, he did, but she could try his patience sometimes.

Elle stepped into the apartment without invitation, Rollo at her heels and a large carrier tucked under her arm. From inside, he could hear the mewing of several kittens. 

“What brings you here this morning?” asked Alvin. 

“Elize wanted to go shopping, and I wanted to bring you a gift!” The ten-year-old beamed at him.

“Oh?” Alvin’s annoyance with her vanished. “And what could that be?” 

She held out the carrier. “Pick one!”

Alvin stared at the case.

After a few minutes, Elle lowered it onto the sofa. “Well, aren’t you going to pick one?”

“Well, there’s a bit of a problem. I can’t just take in a cat without asking Jude about it, and we…” Alvin scratched the back of his neck. “We kind of decided not to get pets right now.”

It had been more of a disagreement they never settled, rather than a decision they had made together. The subject had been dropped, and Alvin had been afraid to revisit it until he could suggest any solutions.

Jude wanted a dog. Alvin didn’t see the appeal in a canine companion.

Alvin wanted a cat. Jude was allergic.

And ultimately, any pets would either have to be travel friendly or stay at home for days without anyone to take care of them. 

“But they’re Rollo’s,” said Elle. “That makes them princes and princesses.”

Alvin let out a laugh. “Yes, yes it does. And I’d be lucky to be blessed with such feline royalty, if I wasn’t worried about leaving the cat at home all the time.”

“You could take the kitty with you. I’ll help you! You couldn’t ask for a better cat trainer than me!”

“That doesn’t solve my Jude issue.”

“Call him! I’m sure he’ll say yes if you tell them they’re Rollo’s.”

“There are some things you’ve gotta discuss in person, Elle.” 

Elle slumped into a chair, her legs kicking out in front of her. She put her feet on the coffee table and stared at her shoes. “I know. But I was so excited to give you a kitty.”

“I’d take them all, if Jude let me,” said Alvin. “He might consider one, if I can keep the pet dander at minimum and…”

“And?”

“He wants a dog.”

Elle’s eyes widened. “A dog? That’s the best, Alvin! I’ve always wanted a dog.”

“Hey, now, I thought you were a cat person like me.”

“I’m an _animal_ person, Alvin. Cats may be the best, but I wouldn’t mind having a dog, too. You’re stupid if you think you can’t have both.”

Alvin dared a look at the carrier. He had been avoiding the sight of the kittens because he knew once he saw them, he would be unable to resist. Instead of packing for tomorrow’s trip, he would be at the stores, buying kitty crisps and toys and selecting the best scratching post.

“There are just enough to give one to Gaius, one to Leia, one to Rowen, one to Elize, and one to you and Jude if you share.”

“Aren’t you going to keep one?”

“No.” Elle shook her head, her pigtails flopping back and forth. She could take care of her own hair, but there had been a time when Alvin, Leia, or Elize had been the ones to do it for her. 

_Ludger, your little girl is growing up on us. Any way you can make that stop?_

“Why not?” asked Alvin. He sat on the sofa and scooted closer to the pet carrier. He unzipped the top flap and looked in.

They were perfect. He could see how soft their fur was, and they looked at him with hopeful, big eyes. They began to mew at him for attention, clambering over one another and trying to climb up the side of the carrier to escape. He lifted them two at a time into his lap, and then the final one. 

“I’ll take them all,” he said.

“You can’t do that,” said Elle severely. 

“How can I choose?”

Elle relaxed. “Yeah, it must be hard. They’re all cute, just like Rollo.”

“I guess I’m going to have to get Jude his dog, aren’t I?” asked Alvin, trying to give each kitten a scratch on the ear. They weren’t interested in sitting still, however, and two of them had wandered to the end of the sofa, while one had found its way onto a stack of books. “I have to leave tomorrow morning with Yurgen. Sheesh, I’m going to have to travel with a cat.”

“I can take it home and you can pick it up when you get back. I’ll reserve whichever one you want.”

“Oh, good.” That gave him time to introduce the idea to Jude. _Hey, Jude, Elle gave me a cat! How ‘bout we get you a dog?_

Alvin sighed. “Are you sure I can’t have them all?”

Elle glared at him.

“Fine, fine. But don’t rush me. This is an important decision.” Alvin wanted to watch them play for a bit and see which one he might connect with the best. He also wanted to have breakfast, which had probably gotten cold. “Which one of you is going to land me in hot water with Jude?”

One fuzzy blue-gray kitten rubbed against his pant leg, and he knew he had his answer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no idea what Alvin and Jude will name the kitten yet. I've figured out fake dog breed names, but I haven't figured out names for the dog or cat. GOOD JOB CAL. Anyway, I'm sorry for the nauseating fluff. A lot of this is taken from on Alvin/Jude (and Alvin/Jude/Milla) ideas I have been rambling about on tumblr for weeks. (Though I'm having some hiccups on how to fit Milla into this at all, since she's in the spirit realm. I have ideas, but...I don't want to fuck around with canon just so I can write what I want. Hmm.) Anyway, not sure when I'll next update this. I had to rewrite some of the beginning of this chapter, and I think I may have to do the same with chapter three. Also, I originally had this set four years after ToX2, I might need to change the thing with the sunset in Leronde because...I'm not sure two years is enough for the climes to have changed that drastically. :/


	3. Chapter Three

Jude flipped open his GHS and checked the time. He had five hours until he needed to be out the door for his lecture at the college, and then it was on the train to another town. Sleeping would have been useful, but he had been tossing in the hotel bed for over half an hour. 

It helped to curl up next to Alvin when he felt restless. He missed him as much as he missed Milla. All he had of either of them was Milla’s necklace and one of Alvin’s scarves. Alvin owned several and wouldn’t miss it. With a few spritzes of Alvin’s cologne, it gave Jude something that would remind him of home. Jude kept it in his luggage unless he was alone in the hotel, never daring to have it on outside. Balan would never let him live it down if he found out he had taken it. The style was unmistakable as one Alvin would have worn. 

The light from the GHS faded to save battery, and Jude sighed before flipping it closed. It might have be too late in the evening to call Alvin, and he didn’t want to risk waking him up. 

Jude switched on the bedside lamp and leaned over to the chair holding his luggage. In one of his bags, he fished out a book he had started earlier that evening. He could just imagine what Alvin would say if he were there.

“Don’t stay up all night.” 

Jude often could not put a book down until he was either finished with it or had fallen asleep. He would always get locked up in the story, turning page after page, ignoring his heavy eyes because a cliffhanger motivated him to read on to the next chapter. 

Jude grabbed Alvin’s scarf out of his luggage as well, winding it at his neck and tucking it up around his mouth—right under his nose. He could smell Alvin’s cologne, and Milla’s pendant warmed against his skin as the scarf covered it. With the familiarity of the two people he loved most close to him, he curled up in the bed to read. 

He never did finish the chapter, but he fell asleep thinking of what would happen next in the story.

~*~

For Alvin, there were no finer things in life than to sit in your pajama pants with a kitten on your lap, enjoying the sunset. Not just any sunset—a _Fennmont sunset_. The climes were a tad unstable, so it lasted a little longer than it was meant to and brought sporadic clouds and light drizzle with it. The sun hit the clouds and painted the sky with orange and purple. 

“It’s pretty, isn’t it?” he asked the kitten, scratching under her chin. She loved that and rubbed against his fingers. He had decided to name her Molly. Sure, it might have been a bit premature to name her when he had yet to tell Jude they had a new tenant, but Alvin had made sure to clean the apartment and buy her a cat tree and a bed for the corner of the living room. She had yet to use the bed, preferring the one Alvin and Jude slept in. Alvin had to extract her several times during the night before, and she had wriggled in his arms and jumped out as soon as she was deposited in her bed. 

Fortunately, she loved the cat tree, and he hoped it would keep her from climbing into things that weren’t hers. Like one of Jude’s coats. She had found it draped on the back of a chair, pulled it down into the seat, and curled up on it. Alvin had put it in the laundry. 

“You are not making this easy, are you?” He had tried to scold her, but he had no heart for it. She purred up at him, and he softened. He even gave up the fight for the bed and let her curl up on Jude’s pillow. That would have to be washed, too.

When the sun had gone and Fennmont looked much like it had before the schism had been dispelled, Alvin grew restless. It took him a few minutes to convince himself that getting up even with Molly on his lap was not an act of animal cruelty, though she did not take kindly to being disturbed. 

“Might as well pack for tomorrow. Wanna help?” he asked the kitten.

She followed him into the bedroom, and when he started pulling clothes out of the closet, she sat on his suitcase before it was opened and licked her paws as if to let him know she disapproved of being ejected from his lap.

“I need in there.”

She mewed at him, and he stroked her soft fur. She took after Rollo with her fluffy coat, which she loved having brushed. Thank goodness she did, because she would require a lot of grooming for the rest of her life. 

Unlike Jude, who brought along a lot of items and usually forgot something, Alvin had a system to fit all his clothes and toiletries into one suitcase with efficiency and with no items left out. He had learned the art of packing years ago, though he owned more now than he did then.

He looked forward to the trip. It meant not staying in an empty apartment. Yurgen could be good company, even when the two were bickering over business matters. There were a few subjects Alvin never approached, however, and for those, Alvin often turned to Leia. Most of them had to do with his relationship with Jude, especially the topic of children. Yurgen could not have any kids with Isla. Family subjects were always troublesome and sensitive and best discussed with Leia, who knew Jude better than anyone.

When Alvin finished packing his belongings, he took out the cat carrier. He put a blanket inside for Molly. Underneath were latched drawers that would hold cans of cat food, and he attached a transportable water bowl to the bars. 

Molly jumped in the crate, wide-eyed, and glanced around. She popped her head out and looked at Alvin, then darted out again—only to run once around the room and leap back in. 

“You’d better like it,” said Alvin. “You’re coming with me tomorrow.”

Molly looked up at him and let out a soft, agreeable mew.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a short chapter, and even shorter now that I've edited it and cut out some redundant sentences. I haven't forgotten about this story! Milla will come into this eventually. I've got a lot sorted out that I didn't before. I decided on Molly because Rollo has "oll" in it, and one of my cats is named Holly...so I thought Molly would be cute for a cat name.


	4. Chapter 4

The poor creature sat in the alleyway between the wall and a trash bin in an attempt to shield itself from the rain. Jude saw it as he was walking with Balan, Mary, and one of their publicity managers from the train station to the hotel in Duval.

“Wait a minute,” said Jude, pausing on the sidewalk. 

Everyone stopped and turned toward him. The conversation from moments ago died. When the manager, Esther, saw where Jude’s attention had redirected, she said, “We don’t have time for that.”

Jude ignored her and took a few tentative steps forward, fishing in his pocket for his package of chicken jerky he had been nibbling on during the train ride. There were just a few small squares of it left. He held one out to the shaggy dog.

The dog lifted its head. Even if the thick coat were to be shaved, the dog’s weight equaled Jude’s. It had a head as big as an eggbear’s, reminding Jude of a Kanbalar Mountain Dog, but the coloring was all wrong. Those were white, and what would a dog breed from Kanbalar be doing in a place like Duval? This had tan fur, long and thick, and its snout extended out further than the mountain dog’s.

“Looks like a mutt, mixed with some Drellin Herding Dog,” said Mary, bending down next to Jude. Their extended umbrellas touched, and the dog padded its way between them to take advantage of the shelter. It sniffed Jude’s hand before taking the treat gingerly. Jude took another out of his coat pocket and offered it.

“Drellin Herding Dog?” asked Jude.

“They have double dew claws,” said Mary. “Before the river dried up, people would graze their livestock along the mountains, and these dogs could maneuver through the mountains with ease and chase off threats to their herds.” She let the dog sniff her hand. 

Jude held out his hand to allow the dog to do the same. As soon as it accepted their scratches at its ears, he felt around its neck for a collar or tag. There didn’t seem to be one.

“We should hurry,” said Esther. “Now.”

“Wait,” said Jude. “I don’t want to leave it here.”

“Him,” said Mary, checking. 

“Does it matter? He must be a stray.” Esther sniffed, turning away. “I was told to take you from the train station to the hotel, no side trips. Can we go now? It’s pouring out here.”

Jude frowned. If Leia had been here, she would have taken the dog with her. As kids, she had brought all sorts of animals home. Sonia would allow Leia care for them until someone in Leronde adopted the creatures. The Rolando family had kept more than a few cats to help with rodent control, too. When Leia had chosen to become a nurse, Jude had been more than a little surprised that she hadn’t chosen work as a veterinary assistant. 

Jude seemed to channel his childhood friend, because he did not want to leave this poor dog to sit in the rain, his coat full of mats and his stomach empty. Jude emptied the package of chicken jerky and let the dog eat it from his palm.

“Good boy,” said Jude, giving the dog another scratch behind the ears. The dog’s big tail thumped against the cement when he wagged it.

“Alfred’s not a dog person, is he?” asked Balan, edging toward the dog.

“No, but…” Jude nibbled on his lip and continued to stroke the dog, who reciprocated by cuddling closer.

“We have another lecture soon, Mr. Mathis,” said Esther, looking at her watch.

“I know,” said Jude, as if he had been listening. He straightened up. “C’mon, boy. Let’s get you to the hotel.”

“You can’t do that.” Esther’s eyes widened.

“I’m sure they’ll make allowances.”

“We’re trying to get the word out about spyrites. You can’t possibly do it with tha-that _thing_.”

Jude ignored her comments. He had only met her when getting off the train, and there were dozens like her, telling him what to do. He had gone through press conferences and spoken at colleges and business firms at their beck and call. For once, one of them was going to have to do what he wanted, not the other way around. He was not their puppet to dance around on demand.

“You’re not going to take him home?” asked Balan, smirking.

“Maybe,” said Jude.

“Why not find his owners?” asked Mary. 

“He’s a stray,” said Jude. “The fur around his neck shows no signs of ever having worn a collar recently. His fur is matted, too. If his owners are around, they’ve forgotten him by now. Perhaps they’ve died, but they’re not looking for him or I think they would have found him. Maybe he would have found them first.”

“That’s so sad,” said Mary. 

The dog followed by Jude’s side without much beckoning. He wagged his tail happily, head up—even as the rain beat down on it. 

“Alvin’s going to kill me,” mumbled Jude. 

And Alvin would not be the only one. The manager huffed along the way to the hotel, and when they reached it, apologized frequently for the “intrusion” to the hotel owner. When Jude offered to pay extra for his room and promised to give the dog a bath, the owner accepted these conditions as long as the animal was clean before the night was out.

Jude made sure to clean up the dog before he took a shower. He had to prepare for another lecture, but he wanted to clip out any mats and get the dog brushed. Mary went to the nearest pet store with some of Jude’s gald and brought back food, dishes, collar, leash, treats, and grooming supplies. 

She sat in a chair in the bathroom and watched as Jude scrubbed at the dog’s fur. To his surprise, the animal held still as if he knew Jude only meant to help him out. The water turned a murky brown and the animal’s fur turned a few shades lighter to a golden brown. There were a few mats Jude snipped out when the brush didn’t work. With some dog shampoo and conditioner, however, some of them were easy to comb out. Even while wet, his coat began to gleam.

“He’s a handsome dog,” said Mary.

“I hope Alvin thinks so,” said Jude.

“Do you think he’ll mind?”

“I don’t know.” Was Jude up for another argument over pets? The last time, Alvin had shouted that their apartment would stay pet free if he could not have a cat. Jude had called him out for sounding like a child, but Jude felt no differently: if he could not have a dog, they should not have any pets at all. “He should live with it. It’s my apartment, too.”

As a child, Jude had wanted a dog. Derrick always gave Jude the same answer. “Dogs are a lot of responsibility. Your mother and I are too busy for one, and you’re just a child. I don’t think it would be good for the patients to deal with a dog underfoot, either.”

He could appreciate his father’s stance a little more as an adult. As soon as he finished bathing, drying, and brushing out the dog, he gave the animal a little food and water—not too much, because he did not want to upset the poor creature’s stomach. All that work made him almost too tired to prepare for the next lecture. Mary promised to gather up his notes and speeches while he readied to leave. His father had been right. Would Jude ever let Derrick know that? Not likely.

But it wasn’t Derrick Jude had to worry about anymore. Alvin would insist on a cat, and Jude would want to keep the dog. Jude loved cats, but could he live with one despite his allergies?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another short chapter, yes. I think the next one should be longer. Sorry it's taking me forever to get these up. I've had this written for weeks, but I finally sat down and edited it. 
> 
> I used a mix of dog breed info I know and what information I can take from the game to mix what dog traits would have been appropriate for this world. I actually have a giant puppy - Great Pyrenees and Saint Bernard mix - so I'm bias toward the extra large breeds. That seems like the sort of dog Jude would end up with. I can't help but wonder what's going to happen when Alvin and Jude find out what the other one has done...
> 
> I have another OC by the name of Esther, but it seemed a good name to use in this case. /shrugs/


	5. Chapter Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, it sure took me long enough to finally post this... (This fic is far from forgotten. I am too obsessed with this family unit.)

The living room appeared suspiciously crowded when Jude stepped into the apartment. Evidence suggested Alvin had cleaned it before he left—Jude noticed the fresh vacuum lines on the carpet, and very little dust had gathered on any of the surfaces. Even Jude’s books had been stacked neater than how he had left them.

Then Jude spotted the changes. In the corner, near the windows and by the door leading to the kitchen, a new piece of furniture had been set up.

“What’s a cat tree doing in here?” Jude bent down and unclipped the leash from Gordon’s collar.

Gordon began to sniff around his new home while Jude and Balan put the luggage against one wall. Jude would take care of it later. He had some snooping around to do. As he neared the cat tree, he noticed a small pet bed with toys and furs scattered on it. Jude did not see the animal in question as he circled the apartment. There was a litter box in the bathroom, too. 

“Maybe Alfred knows about your dog and thinks it’s only fair he gets his cat?” said Balan when Jude returned to the living room.

“How would he know?” asked Jude. “Gordon never barked during our chats on the GHS. You don’t think he would adopt a cat without telling me first…?”

“And you asked him about the dog first?”

“That’s different! Leia would never forgive me if I didn’t rescue an animal in need.” Jude grimaced when he thought of the scolding she might have delivered had he left Gordon on the streets and how long she would spend in Duval, searching for this poor dog in need and demanding answers from all of her informants in the area.

“Perhaps Alfred had a similar circumstance. There’s never a shortage of stray cats.”

“If there’s a cat, where is it?” asked Jude, glancing around under furniture.

“With Alfred?” suggested Balan.

Jude suspected that might be the case—he had not sneezed yet despite the furs he had noticed on the cat furniture.

“Balan? Thanks for helping me bring up my luggage.”

“No problem. Give my regards to my cousin after you finish fighting with him.” Balan waved and let himself out. 

Jude went to the kitchen. As he went through the pantry to see if he could find something that hadn’t expired to have as a snack, he noticed a stack of cat food cans sitting on the counter. He studied the labels. They were all meant to be balanced for a kitten’s diet. So the cat was young. 

_Oh!_ Jude remembered Elle gushing excitedly about Rollo’s recent fatherhood only weeks before. Jude’s inbox was full of pictures she had snapped, showing their growth and progress. And hadn’t she said she wanted the kittens to stay in the family? No way would Alvin be able to resist the offer when cornered without Jude there to voice any objections. When it came to kittens, Alvin’s resolve had always been weak. Every time they saw a cat pass by on the street, Alvin would kneel down and call out to it. If they came to him, he would praise all felines in the world as loudly as possible.

“Cats are perfect, aren’t they? They’re smart and can take care of themselves, but they still don’t mind a free meal and a rub around the ears.” And then Alvin would look expectantly at Jude, who made a point not to answer or to change the subject. 

It had only been a matter of time before either of them broke and adopted the pets they had wanted for so long. It was time to face his partner. He dreaded Alvin’s reaction to Gordon more than he was concerned about his feline allergies. He returned to the living room and paced around the furniture for a few minutes, staring down his GHS as he steeled his nerves.

Jude dialed Alvin. It rang twice before Alvin’s face popped up on the screen.

“Jude! You’re home?” asked Alvin as soon as he answered.

“I just got here! Hey, Alvin, where’s the kitten?”

Alvin quieted and avoided eye contact.

“There’s a cat tree and toys. And some food in the kitchen. There’s no way I wouldn’t have noticed, Alvin.”

“Oh, haha. Yeah, I guess the cat’s outta the bag.”

Jude sighed. “Alvin,” he scolded.

Alvin chuckled nervously. “Uh, she’s with me.”

“And when were you going to tell me we got a cat?” Jude tried to hold back his own laughter and failed to conceal a smirk with his hand.

“Why’re you so amused?”

Jude swung the camera toward Gordon, who had found a comfortable place on the sofa and had curled up.

“Jude! What’s that thing doing in our house?”

“I found him.”

“Where?”

“Duval.”

“Oh, so you can pick a dog up off the side of the road in one of the worst cities in Elympios, but I can’t adopt one of Elle’s kittens?”

“I didn’t say that!”

There was silence between the two of them for a moment.

“Elle offered. I couldn’t turn her down.”

Jude chewed on the inside of his cheek. 

“Are you mad at me? Jude?”

“Maybe a little.”

“Hey, you know that’s not fair! Not like you asked me about the dog. How long have you had him?”

“A week.” Jude made a face. “You can’t tell me you’re not angry, too.”

Alvin sighed. “All right, yeah. I’m a little pissed. But I’m pissed off at myself just as much as I am at you. We shouldn’t be keeping secrets. And at least a cat isn’t the size of the Lord of Lakutum. _What kind of dog is that?_ ”

“Mary thinks he might be a Drellin Herding Dog mix. He’s a mutt.”

“Half beast, half noble dog. How appropriate.”

“His name is Gordon.”

“Her name is Molly.”

“Great,” said Jude. 

“Yeah, sure. Great.” 

Both went silent. Alvin wouldn’t look at Jude and frowned. Jude stared at his GHS, heavy-hearted. Alvin was right. They should never have kept these secrets from one another. It had only delayed the argument and possibly worsened it. In an attempt to make peace—although he was being honest—Jude said, “It’s not like I hate cats, Alvin. Maybe it won’t be so bad to have one around. With all the cleaning you do, the dander shouldn’t be a problem…”

“I don’t mind _real_ dogs, but I’m not sure about a beast that weights five hundred pounds.”

“He’s not even one hundred fifty pounds, Alvin.”

“Molly’s under three. Does your mutt like cats?”

“I don’t know. He’s friendly to everyone. I’m sure it’ll be fine.”

“And if it isn’t?”

Jude glanced at Gordon. While walking him through the train station and taking him on board, he had greeted everyone—including those with animal carriers holding cats and smaller dogs. He told this to Alvin. “I don’t think it’ll be a problem.”

Alvin sighed, rubbing his forehead as if trying to sooth a headache. “We should discuss this more when I get home. Till then, let’s not get upset with each other?” He pleaded. “This’ll be fine, right? We both got what we wanted. Just think of it as a start to our family.”

Jude let out a soft laugh and smiled. “Now you’re just making excuses,” he said. “Take good care of Molly so I can meet her in three days.”

“Not a problem! Make sure that beast of yours doesn’t destroy your books.”

“Alvin…”

Alvin chuckled. “Put them away.”

“Buy me more bookshelves.”

“I’ll consider it for a price.” Alvin grinned. “I might ask for some new bedroom arrangements when I get home.” 

“Alvin…”

“I’m kidding! Well, maybe. Hey, I’ve got to go. Take care of yourself.”

“You do the same.”

Jude flopped down on the sofa next to Gordon and stroked the dog’s thick fur. Three days was a long time before he would see Alvin again, but he had gotten used to waiting. Three days or a week was nothing compared to how long before he saw Milla. She would love both the new additions to the household.

“Welcome to your new home, Gordon,” said Jude. “You’ll meet the rest of the family in time.”

Gordon seemed to sense something and put a paw on Jude’s knee as if to comfort him.

~*~

Alvin stared at the GHS as he rested on his hotel bed.

“Start to our family,” he grumbled. “Why did I say that?” 

He whacked his device against his forehead a few times in dull self-chastisement. Someone like him was lucky enough to have found people who would keep him grounded and care about him after all the bullshit he had put them through. He had no right to expect anything more of Jude or Milla or anyone else. 

“Damnit.” Alvin yawned and stretched his legs out on the bed. Molly glanced up from her place on the pillow beside him and stretched a paw toward him, flexing her tiny claws. They barely grazed his skin. He smiled as she edged closer until she was resting in the crook of his arm. All his worries were put to the side. “You get it, don’t you? Cats don’t wonder if they can’t have something. They go after what they want.”

She let out a little mew, which he interpreted as agreement.

“We already have a family,” he added. “It’s different than others, but these are the people who’ve let me hang around even when I did some pretty shitty things to them.”

Molly purred and butted her head against his hand to encourage him to pet her. He obliged. She wouldn’t criticize him. It didn’t matter what he had done in the past, only what he did (for her) now.

“It’s only fair he has a dog,” said Alvin. “I’ve gotta say I’m sorry.”

Alvin was startled by the sudden sound of his GHS going off. He had a text. He scrolled over to his inbox. It was from Leia. Short and ended with a frowny emoticon: _Jude called… I guess it didn’t go well with the cat, did it?_

Alvin snorted. “You could say that again.”

Before he could text back, Leia sent him another message. _It’ll work out._

“I hope so,” he said, and he echoed his words in a text to her. She always seemed to know when he needed reassurance. 

He hopped out of bed and uncapped some food for Molly. After feeding her and giving her some scratches behind the ears, he pulled his coat off the back of a chair. Maybe some time in a local bar would give him a distraction. He needed a few good laughs with strangers and the buzz of alcohol to calm his overactive thinking.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm finally updating this fic! I have been inspired by Xillia so much lately, and I have several more chapters written for this. This one was actually written ages ago, but I finally went over and edited it as best I could. I'm still sorely disappointed we couldn't see more of Rieze Maxia without the climes, so I have to imagine what they might be like. (Such as Fennmont not having the night clime and having daylight. But there's a lot of water there, too.) Anywayyyyy...
> 
> I feel like this chapter is further proof that I'm obsessed with family fluff. It's like PWP but more like fluff without plot. It's probably very boring to read, but if you are reading it, THANK YOU!

The new dog greeted Alvin and Molly by wagging his tail and nosing the edge of the crate. Alvin expected Molly to hiss, but instead she mewed at Gordon while he sat and thumped a long, fluffy tail against the carpet.

“Hey,” said Alvin. He held out his hand, and Gordon gave him a testing sniff before allowing Alvin to pet him.

Alvin hesitated to let Molly out of her crate so soon after introductions, so he took her carrier over to the cat tree and released her on one of the topmost platforms. Of her own accord, Molly hopped down to get closer to her new housemate. She went nose to nose with Gordon, who had followed them over. 

The dog kissed her, and she let him.

“Good dog,” said Alvin, scratching Gordon’s ears to show his approval. He switched to Molly, holding out a finger and letting her guide him to where she wanted petted the most. “Good girl.”

Once Gordon had officially given his greetings, he curled up on the rug in front of the sofa. Molly followed him and played with his tail, which only made it wag faster.

The two of them had handled their new lives a lot better than Jude and Alvin had over introducing them to their home. To think they would be outdone by a couple of animals… 

Gordon and Molly inspired Alvin to make an effort to vocalize his hopes of having children someday soon. Even if Jude asked him to wait, it was better than never saying anything at all. 

But he had to find Jude and apologize first. It was early morning, and Jude had a habit of sleeping in. Sometimes he never came home, though with Gordon to feed and take for walks, Alvin suspected Jude would be doing less crashing at the Research Center. The dog would be doing them both a favor. 

Maybe Alvin should have allowed a dog much sooner if it meant Jude would be home in time for dinner.

In the bedroom, Jude curled up on Alvin’s side of the bed. Instead of blankets, he had wrapped himself in Alvin’s large brown coat. Alvin had not worn that one in a while. Jude could often be caught snuggling in it when he thought he would be alone and where no one would see him.

Alvin set down his suitcase inside the bedroom and stepped over a pile of books. He eased onto the mattress, picking up an open tome from the bed and marking its place with a business card from his pocket. He placed it on the nearby table. It only took Jude three days to have several dozen books open to random pages. Someone who didn’t know Jude would think he had no aim and was scatterbrained, but Jude would always double-check a line or think of something and get a new book off the shelf to go over the finer details of his research. There was a method to all the mess. Alvin didn’t want to disturb Jude’s organized chaos. 

He wrapped an arm around Jude’s waist. As he pulled him closer, Jude mumbled.

“Alvin?”

“Hey.”

Jude responded by pressing further against Alvin’s chest. He smelled like Alvin’s cologne, like leather, like metal from the gun Alvin used to carry around in that coat. His hair was clean but mussed, a complete disaster that would look rugged and handsome on him when he rose. Jude could wear his hair in many styles. All of them looked good.

“I’m sorry,” said Alvin.

Jude put his hand over Alvin’s. “Me too.”

“They love each other, unless your dog—er, Gordon—is playing nice to trick me so he can eat Molly when my back’s turned. But she seems to like him a lot, and he’s so…well, gentle.”

“I _told_ you it would be okay.”

“Did you stay up too late last night?”

Jude yawned in response.

“Figures,” said Alvin, and he leaned in and kissed Jude’s shoulder. “You ever gonna clean up this bed?”

“Now that you’re home, isn’t that your job?” Jude teased.

Alvin thought of giving Jude a playful swat or pinch on his ass, but the journey had made him too tired to be kinky.

“Maybe I’ll bury the bed in kittens instead,” said Alvin. “Or maybe we can be daddies with the kids sleeping between us at night. Then you’d have to put all your books away.”

When Jude didn’t reply, Alvin gritted his teeth. He always said something stupid. There were so many times in his life he was so damn lucky to have what he did, away from the unfortunate times where he had had very little. Those had been moments of bliss until he had fucked them up. Sometimes he had to fuck it up, because he had orders to do so, and that stung in all sorts of ways. A lot of times, he thought he deserved everything that had gone wrong for him—he had always been the cause of everyone else’s troubles so it only seemed right that he would be the cause of his own. But then he’d catch a break. He would hang onto that and ride it out until it was either sabotaged by him or his duties as part of Exodus.

That went on well after he had met Milla, Jude, Leia, and all the others. They had kept him grounded even after all the lies and betrayal, and they had been the greatest thing to happen in his life. 

So why did he need to push his luck? Who was he to expect more from them?

“Is that something you’ve been thinking about a lot?” asked Jude, breaking the silence.

“Yeah, yeah…I guess. I mean, I’d make a crap father, so maybe I’m not fit to raise kids.”

“Who says that?”

“Well, for starters? I do.”

Jude wriggled out of Alvin’s arms and sat up on the bed to face Alvin. He was in nothing but an undershirt and his boxer briefs beneath the coat, which he wrapped around his shoulders like a cloak. 

“I’m in for a lecture, huh?” Alvin let out a soft chuckle.

“If you’re going to say stuff like that, I guess you are.” Jude reached down and stroked Alvin’s hair out of his face. “You’re too hard on yourself. You always have been. I know you’ve been trying to turn your life around. It says a lot that you didn’t only talk about changing, but you’ve worked hard to make it happen. You wouldn’t do that if you weren’t a good person to start with. You had some hiccups along the way. We all do, some more than others.”

“I’d say I’ve got more than hiccups.”

Jude reached out and took Alvin’s hand in his own. He traced the lines in Alvin’s palm with his fingertip. “I’m a doctor. I can cure hiccups.”

Alvin laughed. “Hey, not going to argue.”

“Good. I’d argue back if you tried.”

“Yeah, we seem to be pretty good at that…” Alvin sighed. “I think that’s what I’ve been afraid of. What if you don’t want kids? I don’t want to fight you on it, because becoming a parent is a big deal.”

Jude rubbed the back of his neck with his free hand. “I’ve never said one way or the other if I want to raise kids, have I?”

“No.”

“And you don’t think I haven’t given our future any serious thought?”

Alvin studied Jude’s steady gaze, which was a mixture of sternness and patience. 

“Depends on what you mean,” Alvin finally said, shrugging. “Do you ever think about Milla? ‘Cos…she fits into this in her own way.”

“All the time,” said Jude, his voice soft. “Thank you for always understanding how much she means to me.”

“Hey, she’s a lovely lady! More than lovely. I’m jealous.” Alvin grinned teasingly at Jude. “Wouldn’t mind a threesome between us.”

Jude laughed. “Milla’s suggested it.”

Alvin raised an eyebrow. “And you didn’t rush me into the room? Or are you keeping her all to yourself?”

“Yeah, I might be.” Jude’s cheeks went pink. Damn, he could be adorable. Alvin leaned in and kissed him on the forehead, taking in tufts of his dark hair between his fingers. “Alvin?”

“Huh?” asked Alvin as he pulled his lips away and leaned his forehead against Jude’s.

“You changed the subject.”

“Oops. Do we have to talk about it?”

“Always redirecting…” Jude sighed. “If we don’t do it now, when will we?”

Alvin groaned. “Doesn’t this prove my point? How can I be a good dad if I don’t even want to talk about it for more than a few seconds?” He pulled away and leaned his back against the headboard. “I want to be a dad. I kind of feel like I’m one already, with Elle and Elize around. I love those girls. They make me feel like I could be the coolest dad in the world if I put some effort into it.”

Jude rested his head in Alvin’s lap. “Alvin, there is no way you’d ever be a cool dad.” He looked smug as he twisted around in Alvin’s coat and snuggled closer. 

“I have the best fashion taste of all us.”

“That might be highly up for debate. The scarves are excessive.”

“They are not! I’ll have you know, those scarves are from some of the top brands across Elympios and Rieze Maxia!”

“I share your closet, Alvin. You have way too many.”

“No such thing.”

“You keep telling yourself that…”

Alvin sighed. Some people would never understand decent fashion. “Says the person wrapped up in my coat.”

“I like it because it smells like you.”

“Oooh, I smell good, do I?” Alvin only wanted to hear the compliment in the confession—especially at a time when he felt he needed the confidence boost.

“Now I wish I hadn’t admitted it.”

“Please do flatter me some more, Doctor Jude.”

“Well, if you’re going to be that way…” Jude pretended to snub him by curling his nose and turning away. Alvin moved his legs right from under Jude, and in one swift movement, had straddled his lover on the bed. 

“I’ve missed you, and I’m sorry about our fight,” he said, gripping Jude’s wrists and pinning them to the bed. He leaned in for a kiss, appreciating Jude’s soft lips against what he thought were his rough ones. 

“I’m sorry, too.”

“We acted kind of stupid,” said Alvin, shrugging. “But I’ll make it up to you.”

“I…I don’t object to that,” said Jude, letting out a little moan. 

There were some things Alvin missed when he was away from Jude, other than Jude himself—intimacy being one of them. 

~*~

Jude had hoped for more conversation, but cuddling with Alvin in bed for most of the day had been a reward. They were both more than tired from their work. The only time they left bed was when Gordon needed a walk, and then Alvin showered and they took Gordon around a few blocks before picking up lunch and eating at an outside diner. 

Gordon tucked himself against Jude’s chair. It was a nice, warm day. Better in bed, but Jude’s dog was happy to be out and about, and neither Jude nor Alvin had wanted to cook any meals. The sky was overcast, which was not unusual in Fennmont the past couple of years. The marshes nearby always made it feel damp in the air, though more humid since the disappearance of the night clime. 

It often rained and misted. Nothing was more beautiful to Jude than walking over the bridges and watching the droplets hit the waters below. He had a special place in his heart for Fennmont. It had been his first voyage out of Leronde.

It had been the town he first met Milla, and then Alvin. 

“Your lettuce is sliding out of your sandwich,” warned Alvin.

“Oh!” Jude had been holding his sandwich in his hand without taking a bite for several minutes. He tried to tuck the lettuce and tomato and chicken back in before he took another bite.

“Something on your mind?” asked Alvin, who had finished his food. He ran his fingers through his hair. He looked fresh and warm and Jude wanted to cuddle with him more. Jude liked it when Alvin let go of his fashion sensibilities and wore sweats and a tee out of the house. It was Jude’s favorite outfit on him—not that Alvin ever agreed. 

“Oh, I’m thinking about lots of things. Like how you’ve already gotten used to having a dog.” 

“Yeah, well, he’s quiet and calm. I forget he’s even there.” Alvin shrugged. 

“I didn’t see much of Molly. She seems to be content to play on her cat tree all day.”

“She loves that thing.” Alvin chuckled. 

“So…if we had children, would you buy them lots of toys to play with?” asked Jude, seeing his only opportunity back into the conversation about parenthood.

Alvin smirked. “Well…”

“Well?” pressed Jude. “Imagine toys replacing all of my books.”

“Now that sounds dangerous,” said Alvin, wagging a playful finger across the table at Jude. “You know what doesn’t sound dangerous? Eating that deluxe sundae. I hear it has five scoops of each flavor. If we split it, we might not gain too much weight.”

“Alvin…” 

Alvin smoothed his hair back before standing. “Yeah, I think I’ll get us a smaller one. That sort of size is better for when we have kids, right?”

That seemed to be the only answer he was willing to give Jude for the time being. Jude sighed and scratched Gordon’s ears while he waited on Alvin to bring back their ice cream. There were still some topics he could never break Alvin to talk about. His own childhood was offered whenever Alvin felt like sharing tidbits, and when it came to future family plans, he was even more stubborn. 

Jude wanted kids, too. He didn’t expect it would happen within the next year, but there were a lot of children who didn’t have homes. In Leronde, most children were taken in by other families if their parents died. That was a bit of a rarity in such a healthy, small community, but it did happen. The town was close-knit.

But in the rest of Rieze Maxia and especially in Elympios, there were several children who didn’t have families take them in. Gaius had taken a personal interest in making sure that children’s homes were set up to care for orphans and adopt them out to families.

In Elympios, however, there were more children unwanted and orphaned. Jude suspected the size of the population had a little to do with that, as well as more heavy classism. Children were also an added expense, and unlike those in Rieze Maxia, who could easily chip in on a family farm and small chores, Elympios had cities and desolation, with very little in-between. Children couldn’t help on a farm when there wasn’t one. Jude suspected this had a lot to do with why there were more criminals, too, though he couldn’t deny that there had always been troublemakers even in a place like Leronde. A place the size of Trigleph was unsurprisingly dangerous in some corners. At least it wasn’t Duval, though. Duval was skeevy in almost every bar and nook.

But Jude had heard that families in Rieze Maxia who wanted to adopt Elympios’s children were often denied. Tension between the states had not helped matters.

When Alvin returned, he set the ice cream between them and handed Jude a spoon. 

“I asked for extra fruit on top,” said Alvin. “Can’t help it if I really love how good your fruit is here in Rieze Maxia.”

“It’s the stuff you sell, isn’t it?”

“Yup!”

“Then you’re biased.”

“What’s wrong with a little bias?”

Jude took a spoonful of ice cream, not willing to admit the napplesauce on top was tastier than most other napple recipes he had ever tried. It tasted delicious with strawberry ice cream.

“Alvin, we have to talk about it. At home, here, on the train somewhere, over GHS—I don’t care, but you can’t avoid what you started.”

Alvin stared at the ice cream, spoon paused over it. After a moment, he said, “Yeah, I know, but I guess if I had to choose anywhere, home would be best. Let’s talk about it when we get back.”

“Promise?”

“No, I don’t do promises. The more I make them, the more I break them. I’m good at breaking things, like hearts.” Alvin winked, and Jude rolled his eyes.

“You haven’t broken mine,” said Jude as an afterthought.

"Yeah, well, someone kick my ass if I ever do that to anyone.”

“I’ll kick your ass myself.”

“Oooh, a punch from a pacifist. That’ll be intense. Sounds like something we’d do in bed.”

“And now who’s bringing up inappropriate things in public?” asked Jude, sensing that people from the table nearby were giving them dirty looks.

Alvin opened his mouth to say something but then gave it a moment and closed it. He looked sad after that, and Jude wanted to know why.


	7. Chapter 7

Parenthood wasn’t only about eating giant sundaes together, but it was definitely about learning to censor inappropriate phrasing and terms—something Alvin had never been good at. For all his jokes, Alvin wanted to be a good parent who didn’t corrupt his kids or raise ones who blurted out sexual innuendo when they were too young to even know what any of it meant.

He did not want kids who turned out like him.

What else would they be like, though, if Alvin were one of the people raising them? They might be inspired by Jude’s hard work and studious attitude, and they could be inspired by Alvin’s fashion tastes, but then again, they might have a dismissive perspective about work and blow all their money faster than Jude. Maybe they would be like Milla in their stubbornness, but wouldn’t have the same morals. 

Alvin didn’t expect or even want biological children. Adoption held less risk; kids picking up on bad traits of his personality would be troublesome enough, but to have his genes as well? 

_They’d be good looking kids, though,_ he thought. _Maybe that wouldn’t be so bad, but that’s not gonna happen either._

Alvin sighed several times on the walk home. As soon as he stepped into the apartment, the first thing he needed and acted upon was to hug Jude. They held each other in the foyer of their apartment for some time until Jude said, “What’s the matter?”

“Too much to say,” admitted Alvin. “My thoughts are running through my head like faster than I can keep up with them. Doesn’t matter anyway. This helps.” He held Jude a little closer, and he sighed yet again.

“Alvin?”

“Yeah?”

“I love you, you know that, right?”

“How?”

“You’re not supposed to question it. You’re supposed to…”

“Return it? Yeah, I’m sorry. I do love you back, even if I’m an ass. Sometimes I can’t imagine it sounds too sincere, coming from me.”

“Don’t be a jerk, Alvin.”

Alvin slid away and rubbed the back of his neck. “I didn’t think I was. I’m trying not to be.”

“You’re being a jerk to yourself. Stop it. I mean it. I’m not going to listen to it, Alvin. You’re the only one who won’t let go of all the wrongs you committed in the past. How many times do I have to tell you? If you feel regret about it, then you’re not a bad person. Look at how much you’ve changed. You can keep changing for the better.” Jude tilted his head, smiling softly. “Do you think I’d love you this much if you had kept lying and betraying me?”

“Kind of, yes,” said Alvin, meaning it as a joke but realizing it as the truth. 

Jude looked taken aback. 

“You’ve forgiven me, over and over. But…but that’s one of the reasons I wanted to change. Because you had a hell of a lot more faith in me than I’ve ever had in myself. And you did all that, knowing who I was.”

Jude relaxed and reached up to touch Alvin’s cheek. “Yeah, well, someone has to do it if you don’t. We’re not going to leave you alone—Rowen, Elize, Leia. We’re all here for good, and it’ll be a problem if you ever try to get rid of us.”

“You sound like my stalker.”

Jude jerked his hand away and blushed. “Oh, damnit. Alvin! I-I didn’t…” He turned away, laughing strangely.

“I was kidding…”

“So, uh…” Jude rested one hand on the arm of the other and leaned back on one of his legs, still not able to face Alvin. “Are you ready to talk?”

“We should probably sit down first.”

“Ah! Good idea! Do you want something to drink? I’ll make us something to drink!” Jude hurried through the living room toward the kitchen, leaving Alvin standing in the entryway.

“You don’t have to sound so nervous, Jude! I was kidding about the stalker thing!”

Alvin quickly became annoyed with himself when he realized that it turned him on to get Jude flustered. He had said he would discuss children when they returned home, and while his word wasn’t worth much, he wanted to at least attempt to honor it.

He kicked off his shoes and sat down on the sofa, lifting his feet onto the only available ottoman that had led to some very fun foot fighting with Jude in the past. Molly noticed him from her spot on the arm of one of the chair and hopped over to curl into his warm lap instead. He stroked her fur. It made him feel calm. 

“Maybe instead of children we’ll get more cats,” said Alvin loudly, though he did not expect Jude to hear him from the kitchen.

“One is enough!” said Jude. “I’m allergic, remember?”

“You might be allergic to children more.”

Jude returned with two cups of hot chocolate. Alvin’s had a little rum in it. 

“Oh, that’s good,” said Alvin approvingly when he tasted the sharp alcohol. It made him feel warm.

“I thought it might help, since you don’t seem too keen on talking,” said Jude, taking a seat in one of the chairs and putting his mug on the side table. He smirked. “It’s worked in the past.”

“Hey, now, I promised I’d talk—don’t distract me.” But Alvin chuckled anyway. At least he wasn’t the only one making innuendos. 

“You know I won’t let it slide that easily.”

“Yeah, well talking about my feelings hasn’t ever been something I’ve been too good about doing.”

“It counts as talking about your feelings if you’re insulting yourself all the time and passing it off as a joke,” pointed out Jude. “You say more with that than you think you do.”

Alvin made a face. “Fine. Let’s do this. I want kids, but I don’t know how we’d have any, and I’m conflicted about whether or not I’d be an awesome dad—which I want to be—or if I’d fail miserably and end up with a kid who needs therapy to undo the damage I’ve caused. I can’t even keep my sexual comments or my language in check.”

Jude snorted out a laugh into his fist. 

“What?”

“That sounds exactly like the worries most parents have, Alvin. My diagnosis is you’d be a normal parent.”

“But what if the kid turns out like me? Not sure I’d like that much. I don’t want to be a mean disciplinarian, but I’m not standing idly by while they fuck up their lives the way I have mine.”

“You don’t teach a kid not to make mistakes, Alvin. You teach them how to learn from them. That’s where you’re not giving yourself any credit. Besides, I won’t let you be mean to our kids.” Jude smiled at him in a way that made Alvin soften and want to believe anything he said. 

And Jude had said “ _our_ kids”. That made Alvin one hundred percent more certain he wanted a family. 

“Okay, but what about you?” asked Alvin. “You’re still so young!”

“People have children when they’re young, but I think I’ve said this to you before,” said Jude, taking a sip of his hot chocolate after as if that settled the matter.

“And I’m never convinced. Aren’t you worried about your work? There’s mine, too, but I’m not as important as you. I didn’t do anything to save anyone.”

“I wouldn’t say that. You’re bringing good crops from Rieze Maxia to Elympios. That feeds a lot of people.”

“Yeah, but it involves a lot of traveling. So does your job. What if we work so much, our kids don’t get the attention they need?”

“That’s a problem we can solve, Alvin, especially because you’re worried about it. My parents worked a lot, and I was never neglected. Sometimes I was lonely, but I didn’t notice how much my parents were always looking out for me. My mom always put her work aside for me, and there were times when my dad did the same—as long as one of their patients wasn’t in critical condition. Mom was the one I could talk to if I needed someone, the one who always cleaned me up after I’d been bullied. I think we’ll be fine as long as I’m more like her.”

“Oh, not gonna be like your daddy, huh? I’ve got some news for you, Jude—you’re more alike than you think.”

Jude’s eyes widened and he nearly dropped his mug. A little chocolate splattered onto his lap. He grabbed a fistful of tissues from a box nearby and dabbed at it. 

“I guess I might be a little,” he said, groaning. “I don’t want to think about it.”

“You both care a lot about other people and work hard to achieve that. You’re more easygoing than Derrick, though.”

“I’m okay with that,” said Jude, standing. He rushed out of the room to their bedroom and came back several minutes later with a fresh pair of sweats on. He plunked himself into the chair again, scooting it forward to share the ottoman with Alvin. 

“I have to admit something,” said Jude as his toes poked at Alvin’s affectionately.

“What’s that?”

“I don’t know who to talk to about adopting children. And what about ages? Do you want to start young, when they’re babies, or would you take any age?”

“I guess it doesn’t matter,” said Alvin. “Look at Elize when she became a part of our little family unit. She was twelve back then. I think it’d be nice to have a child from the day they’re born, because it’ll be new to me, but it doesn’t always work out that way.”

“It’s too bad…”

“Too bad what?”

Jude scratched his cheek, appearing flustered all over again. “Nothing.”

“Well now you have to tell me!” 

“I…” Jude turned pink. “I think it’s too bad I couldn’t have kids with Milla, that’s all. But I don’t think that would ever work. She’s a spirit, right?”

“Yeah, that doesn’t seem like it’s possible to me. I’m sorry. It would’ve been great if she could have.” If Alvin thought he could produce good looking kids, he could only imagine how cute Milla and Jude’s would be. 

“Well, there are other kids who need parents,” said Jude, giving Alvin a warm grin—one that tried to hide the fact he was a little disappointed.

“So you’re in?” said Alvin, as if it finally sunk in that they were going for it. “You don’t think Milla would mind, would she?”

“No, never,” said Jude. His grin widened. “She might even visit more often and stay longer. She can’t stay forever, but sometimes I miss her.”

“Fair enough. I do, too. Maybe she’ll visit soon.” 

“Yeah, I’d like that.” 

“But…we’re doing this? ‘Cos I don’t want to start filling out adoption forms only to find out that I’m more invested in this than you are.”

Jude laughed. “Yes, Alvin, if you need confirmation. We’ll raise kids.” He gave Alvin’s foot a nudge with his. “See, it wasn’t so bad talking about it.”

“Yeah, I’m not the one who spilled hot chocolate all over myself.”

And thus began yet another foot war on the ottoman—one that eventually expanded out to making out and more on the sofa.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't sure I liked this chapter much, but I've edited it a few times and like it a little more? Alvin's hard on himself--perhaps because he thinks if he doesn't forget, he won't slip? He's so excited to be a daddy though. Jude is, too, but he more or less adapts and even invites changes in his life, I think. Or at least that's how I see them. I'm so anxious about writing them (which is why updates are going so slowly), and I don't really get the chance to talk about Alvin/Jude/Milla with a lot of people (and would get rambly about it if allowed)--but I welcome asks in my inbox about this little family unit on tumblr, or even tweets about it. I'm mcalhencreations on tumblr and mcalhen on twitter. :D


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